Girls just Wanna Have Guns!
Meet the Cannoneer Squad
by on 1/23/2025
Hey General, don’t forget to pack some extra socks! Next week, we’re heading for the Darksteel Mountains to confront Grymbeard's plot. And just in time, a new elite team has just joined Linirean ranks!
Sheepy: “Ladies, welcome to the Alliance! How did you come to join us?”
Pippi: “Well, you see, the Dwarf Council back home has been keeping a close watch on the misuse of dwarven technology... we’re not the type to just sit back while things go boom for the wrong reasons!”
Getti: “Grymbeard's been a nuisance for years! He’s got a massive ego, terrible ideas, and zero sense of responsibility. We should’ve dealt with him long ago!”
Sheepy: “Wait—so you gals actually know him??”
Pippi: “Unfortunately, yes. He’s infamous for creating bizarre, dangerous inventions. The Dwarf Council rejected all his ideas because they were far too reckless. But instead of taking that to heart, Grymbeard grew bitter and started blaming Wilbur—for being, you know, actually talented.”
Talli: “So he doubled down on the madness. His latest invention nearly blew half the kingdom to bits. It was unstable, unsafe, and broke every rule in the book. The council exiled him, thinking that would put an end to his insanity for good.”
Merri: “But surprise, surprise—it didn’t. So, they decided it was time for... direct action! And trust me, we love a little direct action!”
Talli: “Let’s just say, we’re really good at handling things—especially when the handling involves something going ‘boom!’”
Sheepy: “Alright, I’m intrigued. Tell me more about your elite team.”
Getti: “Our Squad is a sisterhood of the finest dwarven warriors. We’ve been together since we were little girls, making us the most skilled bombardiers in all of Dwarf-kind, as tight as a well-packed explosive!”
Pippi: “Once we’re ready, our mothers share the ancient recipe for the most powerful gunpowder ever known. This secret knowledge has been passed down from mothers to daughters through generations of Bombardiers for centuries.”
Talli: “And if Grymbeard thinks he can mess with us, he’s in for a real bang!"
Knowing we have such elite warriors and friends by our side for the upcoming conflict gives me comfort. They are definitely well-prepared for the task and have the advantage of knowing our enemy inside and out. This could come in handy!
Sheepy out!
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